Dag-nabbit furry scoundrels!

I'm telling you, I am giving up on furry creatures... they're nothing more than a pain in my ass! This has been one sore weekend! It started out on Saturday... Sir Max-a-lot decided to take a nap on the couch (one of his MANY favorite past times... I think just short of licking his ass...) and the kids are down in the basement playing and hubs is... well... lets just say he's the king & he was sitting on his throne... SOOOO, it's about 1:30 or so & I decide I should check the mail so I get up, open the hallway door and walk to the front porch. I'm just closing the mailbox cover and notice something in the corner of my eye. I look down & there's the sleeping dog... only, he's not sleeping anymore, he's sniffing... "MAX! Come on... In the house, lets go..." Oh, he went alright... down the steps and to the corner of the house... "Come on Max... lets get a cookie" I cooed. Cookie? Screw the cookie... I'm outside... LEASHLESS! FREEDOM... off he goes towards the back of the house so off I run THRU the house to try to catch him off guard... NOPE! Didn't work! Stupid dog! I chased that dog back & forth down the street & thru the yard then he took off down the driveway & down the street... I passed the mailman too... Stupid guy couldn't help me out at all! See if I leave HIM a card this Christmas! JERK! BUT, anyways... Max stops so I start creeping up on him... just about there... a few more inches... DAMN! He took off again! OH, did I tell you that I was shoeless? YUP! I had me no shoes... You DO know I live in New England, right? Also, in case you were wondering, there is snow on the ground... and ice... and people don't know how to clean up their sidewalks... so my feet are numb and I'm pissed off at this stupid ol' dog and now I'm yelling... I'm halfway up the street (really it's about 3 houses away from the 'busy intersection') and Max stops and I notice something coming up from behind me and I hear a shout... this isn't good because of the location of where I was standing... Max stands the hair up off his back and starts to growl and this is where I take my moment... I pounce onto Max & scoop him up, turn around and am relieved because the shout was to the very pretty silver/gray pitbull puppy instead of to the mean ol' boxer who tried to eat poor defenseless Max once before when he was just a baby! (I know, Max is 7 months old, he's still a baby but this was when Max still LOOKED like a baby... when he was about 16 weeks old or so... damn bastard boxer...) So, the guy yells over that she's just a puppy and I know this... I've seen her before... and I told him mine is too but mine is a jackass because he ran away... SO, NOW I'm walking up the street and I'm about 3 houses away from home and hubs got off the throne and came out searching for the dog... next time I'm going to let him go...

That was quite the ordeal and I can finally feel my toes... but, Hubs decided that I was mad at HIM instead of the dog (who woulda thought that? IDIOT...) and so he started getting all defensive at me and I wasn't going to listen to it so I went to Barnes & Noble and started on a new novel... my inspiration? Max... but then I leave and go to Bed Bath & Beyond... guess what? They don't believe in bookshelves there! So, I asked Mark if he wanted to take a road trip to CT to go to IKEA and he said sure... I'm thinking i don't have to see the stupid mutt anytime soon... yea, I'm still irked at this point... I get home, we get ready, we leave for what ended up being an almost 5 hour adventure LOL... didn't realize IKEA was almost 2 hours away... BUT, we pull in the driveway and hear the damn dog barking & crying & howling... UGH! he NEVER does that! He's SOOOOOO quiet in his crate, he must REALLY have to go potty... so I send hubs in while I wake the girls up... guess what people... Houdini escaped! YUP! He was crying because he was in the big ol house alone... in the dark... and he was all done chewing up plastic bags... His bowels are FINALLY back to normal... I THINK...

So, Sunday, I have a nice peaceful day... the dog & I haven't quite made up yet & he'd rather be with anyone BUT me but that wasn't quite an option at that moment but we made it and went to sleep...

Which brings me to today... I'm suddenly woken up to hubs leaning over me... dammit! It CAN'T be time for him to leave & me to get up yet... Its still SOOOO dark outside and the dog isn't crying to get out cuz he's up... "I think there's a mouse in the house," he says. GREAT! You wake me up because of a friggen mouse? How the hell do you expect me to go back to sleep NOW? "OK? What do you plan on doing?" I ask. So now he's sitting there leaning over me shining a flashlight into the corner... He sees nothing, I hear nothing & now I think he's just lost it... I'm going back to sleep, I'm tired... I roll over and start hearing a noise. DAMMIT! Hubs sits up and turns the flashlight back on... he's searching & searching... lights out... I start relaxing... movement... flashlight... dirty vicious cycle... but then he's like "I see it!" FABULOUS! There's a friggen mouse in my house... in MY bedroom of ALL places... I'm NOT a fan of mice or rats or any other rodents unless they come from a pet store and are in a cage... you know, an INVITED guest... So now I'm TRYING really hard to go back to sleep and I hear the movement again and hubs SOMEHOW was able to follow the noise... "He's in the kids' room," he says. Oh, thank GOD they slept over a friends house last night! This would NOT be going over so well if they were here... Thinking of which, wish me luck with telling them WHY their room is torn apart even more than before (altho, to me it looks like an improvement...) Princess will never sleep in her room again! Anyways, hubs gets up, starts walking to their room, and says "You're done now f*er!" MY HERO! All the while, I just want to go to sleep and I'm now thinking Screw it! Its ONLY a stinkin mouse... But then, I learn that its NOT a mouse... its a squirrel... a baby squirrel... a friggen FLYING squirrel... experienced that one before... NOT wanting to do that again... ESPECIALLY since THIS time its in MY house... not so funny like it was when we chased it around to rescue Mother... hell, I'm laughing my ass off right now thinking about that time upstairs! I even got pictures of that little guy... BUT, that little guy didn't show up & wake me up after 3am either... Hubs demands a little help *basically watch it & tell me where it goes*... SO, I watch him chase the damn thing around for a good 40 minutes before we FINALLY caught it... in a box up on top of the kids bookshelf and let me tell you, that critter was caught by pure LUCK! AND he was unharmed, too! Hubs let him outside and the little scoundrel took off running back to the side of the house... the Bastard best not try to sneak in again!

So... it's 4:20am and that'd give hubs an hour longer to sleep and we all know that if I even THOUGHT about going to sleep I wouldn't wake up... not to mention I'm wide awake now anyways and couldn't fall asleep now if I even tried so we both get up, let the happy-go-lucky Max out & we try to find something on TV... I'm starting to crash when hubs gets up to go shower but then he leaves AND that means I can turn on One Tree Hill! I watched 1.5 episodes, almost finished disc 3 of Season 1 and now I'm sitting at work with only 1/2 hour to go... What an adventurous morning! I need a vacation... and soup... I think I want soup for dinner tonight... cheeseburger chowder! YUM!

who woulda thunk?

OK, so anyone who knows me knows I HATE basketball. I think it is the most pathetic sport ever. I mean, seriously... it was only invented so a bunch of over sized goons in redonkulous sized feet could feel better about themselves... but anyways, my nephew is on a basketball team... he's 10... or is he 11? I can't remember. But, his mother sent a text a few weeks back telling us about his 1st game and if anyone wanted to go. I told her I'd make it to one of his games one of these days... I had to find out when hubby wanted to go... I wasn't going to torture myself to basketball all by myself...

Anyways, I had spoke to her yesterday (I think *I speak to her almost daily at the school*) and she said he had a game today, tomorrow, & Monday. I told her to text me the times of the games & I'll try to make it to one of them, I had to talk to hubs 1st. I spoke to hubs & he said he'd go with me (THANK GAWD!) and so I said we'd talk about which one we'd go to later when he got home... Well... guess what, I decided we'd go to tonight's game because a) I could get it over with; b) we had nothing planned for the day; c) it's not in the middle of the day (tomorrow at noon); and d) I don't have to worry about the kids needing to hurry up and get ready for school the next morning...

SOOOOO... I head off into the car with Princess while Angel watched Hubs finish beautifying hisself... I'm thinking we're going to be late and have NO parking and have to walk in the blistering cold freezing our asses off but we get there with about 2 minutes to spare. There's this BIG-ASS brick pillar that is in our view of 1/2 the court. Really fun... especially since, well... I HATE basketball... so, here I am doing my 'good aunt' deed and torturing myself with basketball, however... I consider it an excuse to take pictures (I'm a picture whore! *I took 172 pictures during a 2 hour birthday party once*) and find out that my Sugar Daddy is ref-ing the game... added bonus!

OK, so... the game starts, we're like a minute in & the whistle blows, ref says something & I'm like "what?" and hubs says "carrying"... sure, if he says so.... what ever the hell THAT means... so the game continues on and the whistle goes again & so, again, I'm like "what?" but this time sister -in-law-in-law says "traveling", yea, sure... if you say so... i thought that was carrying... hubs attempts to tell me what a carry is & I realize that that wasn't what I thought it was after all LOL... so that's when I look down & realize that my nephew isn't even playing at that time. Time to put the camera away... I'm thinking I wasted my time... then sister-in-law-in-law says that they'll be putting subs in in about 20 seconds. "So that's when *said nephew* will be playing?" I asked. "Yup," said she. GREAT!

So, buzzer rings & nephew enters the game... it was DEFINITELY entertaining... can I tell you... nephew runs on his tippy-toes. AND... he gets mad & he hunches his shoulders and suddenly looks like he could charge you like a bull... wayyyyyy too funny since he has this look of a kid who's pretty much a dweeby-wimp (true story... he's such a dork!) But anyways, I'm snapping pics every now & then and trying to figure out what the hell all these fouls are for and Princess announces that she has to go potty. I told her she had to wait 5 minutes until half-time break and I'd bring her... so she went & sat with hubs.

Half-time came - score was 10 them, 6 us... wasn't really looking good since their 10 came EASILY and our 6 looked like total LUCKY shots! I mean, we couldn't even get a free-throw! So, Princess gets her potty break and the game starts again. A friend of Angel's was there becuz her brother was on the opposite team and Angel & Princess wanted to go play with her so I told them to get lost (they were still in my eye-sight, just not up my ass anymore) So now, I'm finally kinda understanding the game and Twinkle Toes finally gets the ball... woo hoo! Go Twinkle Toes... whistle blows... WHAT the hell happened now? Traveling... Good old Twinkle Toes, if you didn't run on your tippy-toes, you'd be able to stop once you got the ball so you could dribble.

Anyways, this really short kid (which surprises me, cuz aren't you supposed to be over sized to be able to play? this kid was the shortest THERE) shows up outta nowhere *really I think he was just hidden behind all the normal sized players* and makes a basket... YES! suddenly we come back & the score is 10-10 and then our team gets another chance at free throws... he gets 2. First shot... bounce... bounce... position... roll the ball.... shoot.... miss... DAMN! second shot... bounce... roll the ball... position... roll the ball.... rock back and forth... roll the ball... aim... roll the ball... aim... throw... WHOOSH!!! 11-10 us... THAT'S the point that's going to win the game... suddenly I'm into the game, so what if I don't like it, we're winning! I'm watching these little kids run back and forth... suddenly Twinkle Toes gets the ball again and we're like THROW IT TWINKLE TOES (except we used his real name) and a little brat stole it from him... crap! other team comes back & scores... now we're losing again... then, outta nowhere, you remember that really short kid I told you about earlier in this paragraph? He comes back and he scores a basket... then the other team grabs the ball & they're going back & forth on the court.. and Twinkle Toes gets the ball again & we're like THROW IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And he throws it... I'm on the edge of my seat... he missed it... hubs said if he gave it a little more UMPH, it woulda went in (see, I told you twinkle toes was dweeby) and that's when I told sister-in-law-in-law that even though I don't like basketball, I was about to jump up outta my seat & cheer like crazy if Twinkle Toes got it in. She said she was going to as well... LOL...

Anyways, we're coming down to the last 2 minutes and its a very close game... we're losing... but then shorty & another kid show up and go back & forth hogging the ball but they scored... then again... so now the score is 19-16 us... HOLY CRAP! GET THAT DAMN BALL AWAY FROM THEM!!!! THEY'RE GOING TO SCORE! OH MY GOD! LETS GO DEFENSE... finally our team is able to get the ball away from the other team without them scoring any... our team has the ball they're coming up court... we yell SLOW IT DOWN THE COURT... I guess you only get 3 seconds in a box... it'd suck to have to give the ball up... so he's slowly doing it... then the other team gets the ball again... I'm like CRAP! Then the countdown starts... 3...2...1... BUZZZZZZZZ WOO HOO!!!!!!!!! WE WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELL YEA!

I'm suddenly clapping like crazy, screaming, and clapping like a huge fan... you never woulda guessed I hate basketball... I think it's OK when its played by kids... they're cute... not over sized goons... yet... so, maybe I will go back tomorrow... we'll see...

Anyways, while I was writing this blog, my wonderful brother kept tweeting me asking me to announce his embarrassing childhood... so, I brought up the dum dum experience and come to find out, EVERYONE already knows that... but I wonder if he tells the WHOLE story... the part where he sticks his hand in for the dum dum AS the toilet is flushing, not after everything was down the septic... so I bring up his banana suit and his dweebiness and how he got beat up by a girl... the next blog I do, I should make it a tribute to his childhood... and yes, you have permission to do the same about me!

It's now 9pm, I'm off to watch How Its Made to see hubs! He's gonna be FAMOUS!!!!!!! Well, sorta...