The end of a chapter...

Today was Jeanne's funeral. Big Boss Man was nice enough to give me a few hours off of work so I could go (THANK YOU BIG BOSS MAN!!!!!!) It started out as awkward at the funeral home... Especially when I was the 2nd called to pay my respects and I didn't really want to... I wanted to sneak out as quickly as possible... I had seen her yesterday and I didn't like it. BUT, I did the right thing... I paid my respects and walked out to my car.

We made our way to the church (right next door, but we had to drive anyways LOL) where we had a full Mass for her. I broke down and cried when they brought her down. Then I cried again when they brought her back up the aisle. All the time between that, I was able to hold back the tears but my heart ached. It ached for everyone in that room mourning the loss of Jeanne. Did I say yet, that I felt awkward? Well, that awkwardness continued onto the church. You see, I'm not Catholic. Well, I was baptised Catholic as a baby. But that's as far as it goes. Its funny how I can't recite the Lord's Prayer, but it flowed outta my lips so easily tho. Then, we had to turn around to everyone & shake hands or hug & say "Peace be with you"... AWKWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So then, Mass ended.... and all that up & down, up & down, up & down I had to do did a toll on my bladder... I had to PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE... so, I stood in line at the bathroom... and waited.... and waited... and waited... finally it was my turn... so I went & peed... and peed... and peed... I'm telling you, this pee was WORSE than Black Friday after 4 LARGE coffees and an hour wait for the store to open... it was CRAZY! It WOULDN'T end! Luckily for me, I was the last car to drive to go to the cemetery... I'm walking out the church and people are laughing at me, I kinda almost wanted to take a bow & wave but decided it wasn't the time or the place... so, I got in my car...

We're driving to the cemetery now *oh, did I tell you my sis-in-law drove with me?* and jerk-faced people are suddenly just cutting in front of the line of cars with these loverly little purple flags on top all clearly written out with the word FUNERAL on them but, I digress, we're now driving to the cemetery, me the last of the line... We pull in and the boys (not so much, but u get the idea) are carrying the casket over and the Priest is saying the final prayer for her and I start to bawl again... I thought I was all out of tears, guess not... I bawled & bawled & bawled... Then I feel better... suddenly, Jeanne's ancient mother gets up and walks over (with help) and placed a carnation upon the casket. Then more family get carnations and say goodbye. Suddenly I start crying again. This time, I'm not crying for my own sorrow. I'm crying for them. Because THEY just lost THEIR loved one. Because I know that the void in their heart they are feeling will never go away. It will feel lighter but it will always be there!

Everyone leaves the cemetery. I leave and run home. Let the Max out to piddle and made him go back in his crate. We then *in separate cars now* make our way to the Legion for the get-together there. I walk in & Mother is there. UGH! She's awfully disrespectful and ignorant and I wished she had been at the other bar instead... But, I go in and walk past her as quickly as possible saying as little as allowed... we eat and now I have to return back to work. I say good-bye to all and notice that there is dessert out now. Zoom in on the cake... the cake with LOADS of frosting... now, anyone who knows me, KNOWS that frosting, to me, is better than sex! SOOOOOOOO I ate frosting... lots and lots of frosting.

I'm now back at work (for a couple more minutes) and my belly hurts. I am wayyy too stuffed. I said my farewell to Jeanne and did the best I could to help comfort her family members I knew and we are all starting a new chapter in our life. The next chapter is the chapter where we live our life with the memories we have of Jeanne and remember her for how she was before her short lived residency on her death bed. Rest In Peace Jeanne! We love you!

Now, I go home, feel better, eat nothing, and bowl my brains out tonight! This night is for you Jeanne!!!!!